THE PAIN YOU KNOW.
Dear Old Cycling Aches And Pains,
It’s been a while since we’ve hung out and I just thought I’d write this note to say that I miss you. We knew each other for 25 years so you have to believe me when I say it was hard to leave you.
I was just thinking about how, when I first met you guys we didn’t get along. I didn’t like you. But as I got to know you I realized that you were mostly harmless. That most of the time you were just trying to warn me that I wasn’t warmed up enough. Or that I was about to get hurt. You were looking out for me.
Now I find myself around a bunch of new pains from running. These new pains are scary. I don’t know them. Maybe they’re looking out for me as well, or maybe they’re just dicks. Unlike you, they really seem like they want to hurt me and tear my ligaments and make me sit on the couch for weeks and gain weight.
So listen, do you guys happen to know anyone who knows these pains? Are there “pain bars” or “pain Facebook Groups” or some other crap you guys all belong to? And if so, could you shoot them a note asking them to take it easy on me? Y’know, just until I get to know them a little better.
Thanks. And again, I miss you.