You know those superhero movies or TV shows where all it takes is a small mask to render someone completely unrecognizable. Superman or Batman take off that tiny mask and nobody has a clue.
I used to think that was really dumb.
It was a leap of faith I just could not take. Until recently.
See, I’ve been riding up the same trail almost daily for 9 years. Every single morning I would run into the same people and say “hello.” There’s Ed and his two big hounds. Tom and his black & white mutt “Oreo.” The gaggle of women of undetermined ethnicity who wore strong perfume, even while hiking, and would not budge from the trail. No matter, I greeted them all - most by name - and they greeted me back.
But I’m not cycling these days.
I’m very slowly trying out trail running.
So the helmet and lycra kit is off and it’s a t-shirt and running shorts.
And I’m a stranger to these people.
I will never scoff again at the concealing nature of the Lone Ranger’s thin strip of a mask.
And apparently there’s room for a new superhero who hides his identity behind the most effective disguise of all.
A Giro helmet.
“THE _____ GUY.”
When I tell people that, since my latest crash, I may not ride a bike anymore, they don’t believe me.
That’s very telling.
Shows that I’ve been through this before and come back.
Shows that it’s really obvious to all around me how much I’ve loved bikes.
It shows how much cycling was a part of my identity.
I’ve been “the bike guy” at every job I’ve held for the last 15 - 20 years.
I’m guessing a fair number of you hold the same title amongst your peers.
But I’ve been other stuff.
Before that I was “the triathlete guy.”
Before that, through high school and college I was “the swimmer / water polo guy.”
Before that I was the “surfer / skater / BMX rider” kid.
And I wore those titles proudly because I loved all those things.
Some of them I’d love to do again but lately I was focused on cycling.
Perhaps it’s time I got back in touch with them.
Perhaps it’s time for some new things.
Things that get me out into the outdoors (like cycling), that test my fitness and endurance (like cycling) but won’t make my wife and kids scared every time I leave the house (like cycling).
So who knows, I may be back on the bike again. For sure, to ride with the kids to school and back. And on Sundays to Blinkie’s Doughnuts. And maybe to a pub or three.
But I’m eager and excited to try other outdoorsy things. And I’m eager to share the same kinds of honest insights and wisdoms.
If you’ll have me.
Then maybe I’ll hold a new title.
“The outdoors guy.”
“The trail runner guy.”
Or maybe I can move beyond those titles.
Maybe just “Brian” is good enough.
HELLO E.R., OLD FRIEND
I went down again. Badly.
Enough that I’m considering leaving this sport.
I know that’s a bit dramatic, but when I’ve put my wife through that “phone call” from the hospital, seen my 11 year old son try to keep it together and my daughter cry as they brought me off the ambulance on a spinal board with my face in pieces and my brain function spotty, I have to question how fair it is to keep putting them through that.
Especially since it’s not the first time.
And this was not a race.
It was not a technical trail.
I was just riding along.
And then I wasn’t.
So at the very least I’m taking a long long time away from the bike.
My family needs a break.
And my broken face needs one, too.
I get back from one 24 hour race camping excursion, springtime weather starts to show itself and just like that, the 2013 edition of my annual short-term obsession with campers kicks off.
A peek at my browser history shows nothing seedy, but everything outdoorsy.
The name brand - Sportsmobile
The fantasy reaching a fever pitch now.
Then, feeling I’ve gone too far, I pull back. Maybe just an Urban Assault Vehicle will suffice.
In the end I’ll realize that I simply cannot justify anything more than a borrowed tent, sleeping pad and my 20 year old North Face Cat’s Meow bag.
Madness turns to sanity.
And good ol’ camping starts to look right again.
HAPPY FRIDAY: RIDE YOUR BIKE THIS WEEKEND.
Mr. Byrne up there is quite the bicycle advocate. Read for yourself.
My energy on the bike is waning these days – I need this song to Pull Me Up.
It’s lighter later. You know what that means. I can commute home and Remain In Light.
That’s it. My weekend should be pretty much as it always is.
Same as it ever was.
Same as it ever was.
(photo courtesy of purple.fr)
MOTIVATION, DECORATION OR SELF FLAGELLATION.
I’ve got my own little hall of fame going in the garage. This is the staging area for my (almost) daily rides.
Mementoes. Old, prized frames. Race numbers.
It’s very garage-y.
Some days it inspires me by reminding me of the challenges met and good times had.
Other days it reminds me that I’ve got to at least try to get back into that kind of shape.
Most days it’s just décor.
Do you do this? Paste up the race numbers?
Or do you toss them in the trash, saving only the memories?
I’m not that strong. I need to remind myself.
It’s that little extra motivation and flagellation.
And, let’s be honest, a bit of psychological masturbation.
HAPPY FRIDAY. RIDE YOUR BIKE THIS WEEKEND.
Unless you have a sweet Cinelli rigid mountain bike like St. Haring here. Then hang that thing on a wall like art.
Speaking of rolling art.
But if you can’t get your hands on one of those lower back killing bikes, then try this one for size.
Now get out there and ride. Or paint. Or sculpt. Any kind of expression will do.
Besides actual crash protection, the most important feature in a helmet, for me anyway, is the air holes. I need them to be nice and huge. Not for ventilation, but big enough so I can stick my fingers in there and scratch my head.
I can’t be the only person out there that would appreciate this feature. Something about the first couple miles of a ride makes my head itch like crazy. My body warming up, perspiration, I don’t know what causes it - I just know it’s annoying.
I try to do a pre-scratch before I put on my head gear, but once I get going there’s an inevitable nagging itch.
It’s so important that it’s the first thing I test out when trying on a new helmet.
Which brings me to the two helmets I have now.
They have inadequate ventilation holes. Now, they were freebies. And I let my frugality outweight wisdom and common sense. But whatever money I saved has long been forgotten since I routinely have to pull over, remove my helmet and scratch my head like a flea-riddled sheepdog.
So a note to helmet designers: Stop caring so much about swoopy profiles and bold, new graphics and start giving some love to the notion of ventilation holes that fit the human finger.
Start caring about a-holes, you a-holes.
WHAT’S NOT COVERED BY WARRANTY
I looked really hard at the warranty for these bib shorts but there was nothing on there about covering an incident where a woodland creature from nearby Topanga Canyon gets into our yard and devours the crotch out of my bib shorts that are drying in the sun.
Yep, not one word about replacing shorts that, although clean (I swear to God) and used by a guy with impeccable hygiene (yep, me) were still so alluring to some perverted little animal with peculiar proclivities that it couldn’t resist chowing down on the foulest part of any clothing item.
Last time I get Giordana shorts.
I’m pretty sure Castelli has thought of this.
THE “B” WORD.
Bitches are all the same.
From the outside they don’t seem all that bad.
First few times you get involved, they’re no big deal.
But the longer you spend with them.
The more times you get burned by them.
They live up to their name.
And there are so many of them.
I’m talking about the 7 “Bitches” In the 24 Hours In The Old Pueblo of course.
Any resemblance to other bitches out there is purely coincidental.